Abominations

Years ago, I used to watch General Hospital religiously. Not so much for the show itself, but for the ongoing war between Campbell’s soup and Progresso that raged every day during the commercial break. Basically, every commercial made it sound like you were some kind of moral degenerate if you ate the other company’s soup. I’m not sure who won the soup wars, but my suspicion is that they’re still raging to this very day. What follows is my response, which I wrote for the Madhouse Theater Winter Extravaganza. Feel free to film your own version and make yourself into the next  YouTube sensation. Just promise me that when you’re YouTube-famous, you mention my name.

Holiday Soup

Two men are sitting at a table, a bowl of soup in front of each. Between lines of dialogue, they spoon soup into their mouths.

 Progresso: Hi, I’m Progresso soup.

 Campbell’s: And…

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