___________ fill in the blank. 😀

Migraine day number, I have lost track. It’s been vacillating between a 4-I can manage, to a 9- I’m in tears. I was hoping that it would go away after the last batch of storms. Mine appear to be weather connected, and I can tell when we’re in for a humdinger of a storm. Some people use arthirits, I use my migraines. o.0

But nope, so either the weather is still loopy, I need to check it out. Or…it’s all the stress I have been stuffing down and down. Yes, even therapists go through denial. I like to call it selective choice of what issue I’m dealing with first. But I think I need to take a break and see a colleague of mine. I literally ripped a stress ball in half yesterday. Now most of my friends are quite amused, calling me a ‘ball buster’ and yeah, that is amusing. However… it’s also a sign that I need to seek help myself.
I read something once, that the strongest of people have the most scars in their past, others would quote Conan, “That which doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger.” But when that strength gets to be a problem… i.e. ripping a stress ball in half… then yeah, it’s time to do something else.

In the meantime, I’m staying to myself at work, not avoiding anyone in particular, just don’t want to say something in a snap of sarcasm that will hurt someone. I’m wounded, doesn’t mean I want to cause any pain. I’m also using the DBT skills that I teach to others, especially the distress tolerance component. I have started writing again, sometimes it truly is easier to face your issues through an imaginary character. Not to mention safer. 😉 (I can’t go around punching things that upset me, but my character, Briana sure can.)

Let me be an example for others; I’ve been stuffing a lot of issues down since the beginning of the year. I could have spoken out about them, however…in doing so it would have caused a bigger issue. I know some out there understand what I’m saying. Sometimes you have to stuff to survive. However…we can’t keep stuffing, it just stays there and gets more stuff on top of it, until it can’t go anywhere. When it hits this point, please seek help! Don’t try to handle this alone, sometimes we can’t go to friends and family, as we don’t want to burden them. Also while your friends and family mean well, they aren’t always the best to give advice. They try…but… what worked for them, might not work for you. Good news, you don’t have to. There are others out there that are impartial listeners. I know, I’m one of them, and I have quite a few here that work with me. There are also free services in most communities- check out your local colleges, they usually have a Human Services component and the advanced students need to see people. They are supervised so you’re not dealing with just a student. 🙂 I remember those days myself, being a student, and people looking at me.

What I’m trying to say, you’re not alone, even professional’s get the blues. And when it happens we seek help as well.

Have an awesome day, take care of yourself.