The vacation wasn’t long enough

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I had my perk day, and then we had the day after Thanksgiving off and I wasn’t on call this past weekend, so I had a five-day vacation that only cost me 4 hours of PTO (Personal Time Off) for the 4 hours I left early on Tuesday to kick start my vacay! I mean c’mon who wouldn’t have done that?

I came back to work with yet another surprise, my new supervisor went into labor last Tuesday and started Maternity leave so I’m back to doing what I originally used to do on the inpatient unit. NO big! I got it! I just don’t like the overbearing rude Insurance person that always, ALWAYS gets away with being Rude, Overbearing, and impertinent. Why? Because “Oh that’s just her, don’t take issue with it!” DUDE! if I did what she does to me, I’d be written up and possibly fired, so how does she get away with it, seriously, no one wants her job!! That’s the bottom line! UGH

Then I’m receiving text messages from people that aren’t getting the message that I’m at work and I’m busy, and then I’m getting phone calls from support staff, “You’re not busy and I have a question I need to be answered.” Right, okay, you can talk to the overbearing rude person when I don’t get this work done before noon! Thankfully, it’s 11:40 and I got the documentation done for her.

I’ve been having some severe chest pains and I have to use the bathroom but the stress of being yelled at takes precedence over holding it. And I know the chest pains are from the situation too! I’ve gotten my Nitroglycerin out though, just in case! I don’t know how I can explain to them that I have to reduce my stress! and being yelled at is not a good way to reduce my stress! HR doesn’t GAF, they work for the company! So, suck it up buttercup!

I’ve written in my gratitude journal, and I’m looking forward to lunch to use my other coping apps! Oh, and yeah, I forgot to grab lunch, so crackers it is. 😉 I’m grateful I have crackers, which is better than having nothing. See, I know how to use my gratitude skill. And I think my blood pressure might be lessening. I need to go see the med clinic nurses for my vitals.

Until later, go check out the new social media app that is intended to be the new Twitter, but honestly in my opinion it is much better than Twitter ever was! Most of the people I’ve interacted with it are respectful and friendly. Don’t get me wrong there are what I refer to as children, not mature adults, too! You can report them but with only 3 people currently employed, I just use the BLOCK button! That’s satisfying in my opinion. LOL 😀

I’ll try to update this later with my vitals for my information and for those that truly care. I know that this is another form of social media and that not everyone that reads it, cares for the writer. I’m not that narcissistic. LOL 😀

UPDATE: I was unable to get my vitals done, as I have a job to do and when I was able to see them, they were gone for the day! oops! I didn’t need my nitroglycerin after all. 😉

Happy Pride 🌈 month

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I’m still trying to come to terms after a few conversations with my provider on Thursday. Yesterday, I had some chest pains. Today I’ve been tired 😓 it’s an effort to do anything. I need to eat and I just can’t think 🤔 at the moment. I miss food delivery and no, I’m not paying extreme money for door dash 😳 I’ll just have to get up and push through like I always do! 

Life changes in a heartbeat…–^^–^^^—^^


so on my last post, I was avoiding the cranky people and getting used to my new schedule. Normal day…

and then at lunch I started having issues concentrating, I was playing it off quite well, no one noticed. Which in hindsight is fairly scary.

And the day was going on, and my issues were getting worse. Oh well…work goes on… until…

I scare the crap out of a person, and end up calling my Nurse in the building…I think I’m having a stroke??

So I told who I had to tell I’m leaving, and went out side to my car to wait on hubs. No, no one at work offered to drive me to the VA ER!! yeah… Now one of the girlies walked me across the street to Marion General Hospital who was NO help! They wouldn’t pre-cert my treatment with the VA, and I’m not paying their prices. No just no.

So Hubs walked in, got me in the car, drove me to the hospital, and no I wasn’t having a stroke, I was having a Heart Attack!! THE REAL DEAL! Thank the Goddess he got me there in a timely manner. The doctor told me that it would’ve been nice to have me even earlier, if someone would’ve driven me there even ten minutes earlier. hmmm?

So anywho, with certain heart issues, and other complications, the VA hospital was not equipped to take care of me. And oh hell no, I’m not accepting Marion General, so off to Fort Wayne it is. Lutheran, and omg! Really a great hospital- whoops getting ahead.

So now then, lots of ambulance rides now. One to Marion General, cause the local ambulance can not transport me to Fort Wayne, ummm so sort of union or blah blah blah rules? I don’t know. So I’m waiting on an ambulance from Fort Wayne to come get me at Marion General. And the rude nurse at the VA told the ambulance drivers that I was a Bitch!
~ back story, I didn’t see the need to get completely naked to have my chest monitors on. YEAH! She wanted me Completely NUDE!! NO underwear! And I’m the bitch? Please… ~ end of back story
The ambulance dudes actually thought I was quite funny! And they know she’s a bitch. So normalized and validated. LOL

Then the Fort Wayne ambulance arrived and woohoo! They were awesomely nice. The EMT’s helped take care of the immediate pain from the migraine side effect that was induced from the heart medication. Couldn’t avoid it, kinda needed it. And they were able to take care of it. Yay!! And by 1am I was in the new hospital, oh yeah, at this time, it’s been four hours since I got to the ER in Marion.

They got me in my room, woot, it had already been assigned to me, and then some paperwork, but the VA had faxed a lot of stuff and then the EMT’s had a packet for me too. So not a lot of paperwork. I got to get a little something to eat, and then take some meds, hooked up on more monitors, and then finally sleep….
And thus started my week in the hospital, but honestly I’m glad it was Lutheran, the doc there did more in one week then my VA clinic doc in five years!! And he said that the symptoms had been there, including the mini-strokes I kept having…. uh yeah! scary huh? So he fired that doctor and I have an appt with a new one in the Indianapolis VA system!!

The one new diagnosis I have, I’m not to happy with, but I knew it was a matter of time. Sighs… so I learn and I live with it. I’m diabetic now. And as I’m writing this entry, I had an issue with low blood sugar, it dropped all the way to 50. I was wondering why I was all…wha…ooog…. loopy. So I checked it and uh yep, I need food. That’s the hardest thing for me to do. I’ve always been told I’m to fat, stop eating. So now, I have to eat. And I’m not fat…I’ve lost over 150 pounds in the past six months.

After I was discharged from the hospital, Patrick took me shopping, budgeted, and my credit card. I have dropped over 4 sizes! Jeans, shirts, dresses, etc. Yeah, even my lingerie… so I’m throwing away all my fat clothes. And trying to throw away all those damn thoughts!! That’s going to be hard. I’ve had that record on repeat for years and years.

No more hiding behind baggy clothes, no more hiding behind black.

Any who, I have one more thing to say, I have way more to say, but I’ll save that for another entry!!

this one is important!! And you should check your facebook settings, mine have been changed to even stricter now.

Some of my friends were tagging me in posts to send me thoughts, etc. Nice. thank you.
but…. it caused those low life scammers the chance to spam/phish my friends. Of course if you were ignorant enough to believe some random stranger, they you might …. really??? Fuck! Next time, call me! Text me! Fuck! Email me! You KNOW I CHECK THAT HOURLY! No seriously, my real friends know to email me. Fuck!!

Okay, one more thing… and then I’ll publish this entry! I understand you are worried about me, thank you so very much!! The only people that appeared to care, other than a few real life friends, S who got Patrick up to me, my family- the one’s that didn’t yell at me! (yeah, that’s the other entry…) and my facebook friends! Ya’ll Rock! But…. one of you lost your fucking mind! I’ve blocked your phone number from my phone, Patrick’s and the home phone, you’re denied!! Honestly, I didn’t answer my PM’s, or my texts, or my phone because I was ASLEEP!! Doing what the doctor ordered after I was discharged. EESH! They lost their fucking mind, cause it was after midnight, and they called Patrick’s phone. WTF??? They told him they were about to call the local authorities, okay, that’s a bit of an overkill. Ya think? omg!

So Please I do appreciate you caring, and taking the time to post on my wall, etc. But people let’s use our common sense, I understand it’s more like a super power these days, but please. Think before going off on the deep end. And stop asking if I’m mad at you because I haven’t replied to this or that… Um…. Hello. If I am mad or upset with you, cause I don’t get mad, I get upset, and I get frustrated, which I am, but I think it’s highly understandable.
Yes, I check my email like hourly it’s a horrible obsession. I don’t obsesses over Twitter or FB. And if I have a lot to say, check here! DUH! And with the exception of health issues, I usually reply to important emails within 48 hours, or at the very least with a sentence that I will get back to you. oi!!

Okay that’s it for now. I’m not going to do play by play of my treatment, some of it wasn’t fucking fun and I really don’t want to remember my surgery and my procedures. The after effects were so not fun!
But if you have questions, and I consider them good, or genuine concern, than I will answer them. Okay?

So now ya’ll know what/where I was last week, in a hospital bed surviving a heart attack! Sweet; Operation Awesome Heart! Hey it’s my operation I can totally name it! LOL
Seriously people, if I lose my sense of humor, you might as well bury me.

So I’m learning about diabetes, and exercising, going through my closets- yes, again!
A huge thank you to my Fairy God Father, you are fucking Fabulous and I love you!! ❤
And updating my blog, and seeing what I can remember and what is gone. Ah, it is what it is.
Please take care of yourselves, punkins.
oh don't worry, I won't be posting my blood sugar readings-that's weird, but I will let ya'll know if I have a bad issue. Okay that's it for now. I'm going to go sit outside and enjoy the nice weather and read. HUGS!!

Heart Health: http://www.consumerreports.org/cro/health/medical-treatments-conditions/heart-guide/index.htm

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