As with every New Year, I turn my thoughts to what has happened over the past year, what still needs to be accomplished, and what I can let go of.

This is a very reflective time, and I find myself getting depressed, crying more over little stuff. Things that really wouldn’t bother me at any time of the year.

I’m just a touch at odds with some things that are going on in my personal life. And I am sensing/feeling that at this time, I need to look more into my Spiritual beliefs to help guide me and give me comfort.

I have received an email this morning that a friend who had quietly been ill, passed away. People are asking me for prayers and then shuddering when they realize that they have asked the ‘witch‘ to pray for his soul. That little shudder hurts more than any knife that might pierce my skin. Just because I don’t practice the religion, doesn’t mean that I can’t pray. As I’ve mentioned in the past to people that want to know, I do pray. Just because I don’t pray to a Patriarchal diety, doesn’t mean that I don’t.

However, and here’s the thing…at different times in my life, I have been drawn to certain Goddesses. Each one has given me insight into areas of my life that have helped me. Drawing strength, or simply by mediating on what area they represent. Over the past year, I have been drawn more and more to the Goddess Ailuros. I even went so far as to write a blog entry about her. And trust me, I’ve done more research and have gotten dead ends. Seems what I wrote is it for her… but is it really? Doing research on her Egyptian name of Bast gives me some insight, but so far nothing that has struck a chord within me, what does this mean? Why am I being drawn to this aspect of the Goddess.

Oh yeah, that is another thing that tends to get me into lenghty discussions with fellow Wiccans/Pagans. I don’t see the Goddess as one entity. (There are many different types or aspects of the Goddess, and I respect all of them. One may not be right for me, but there are others that are.) Of course some of that is probably due to my science background. Empirical research and all that jazz. So why not combine them. Who in their right mind would combine science and religion… well I do. I can be very logical and then emotional when needed. However overall I am more of a logical person. Balancing what I am told, with empirical research.

oi where am I going with this entry? I don’t know. Just random thoughts… more later perhaps… or maybe just some eye candy? your thoughts?